Sunday, May 30, 2010
Friday, May 28, 2010
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Jokes. LOL :D
1.Daughter : Dad, can you write in the dark?
Dad : I think so. What is it you want me to write?
Daughter : Your name on this report card.
2.Customer : Waiter, this lobster's only got one claw.
Waiter : I expect he's been in a fight, sir.
Customer : Well, then, please bring me the winner!
3.Newly-wed : Do you want dinner?
Spouse : Sure, what are my choices?
Newly-wed : Yes and no.
4.A man telephoned an airline office in New York and asked, "How long does it take to fly to Boston?"
The clerk said, "Just a minute."
"Thank you," the man said and hung up.
5.From his death bed, the husband called his wife and said, "One month after I die I want you to marry Mr. Drone." "Drone! But he is your enemy!" "Yes, I know that! I've suffered all these years so let him suffer now."
6.A man inserted an 'ad' in the classified ads; "Wife wanted." The next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing : "You can have mine."
7.At age 83, Granddad was admitted to the hospital for the first
time. "what is theis ?" he asked as he held up the bell cord they
had fastened to his pillow.
"That 's the bell , Granddad." I replied.
He pulled it several times, then remarked , "I don't hear it ringing."
"Oh, it doesn't ring." I explained. "It turns on a light in the
hall for the nurse."
"Well!" he replied indignantly, "It the nurse wants a light on in
the hall, she can turn it on herself."
8.A woman told her neighbour that they used
alliagators to make shoes. shaking his head, he said,
'What will they teach them to do next?'
8.Why do blondes wear big hoop earrings when they go on a date?
So they have some place to put their feet.
9.Nothing is better than diamond.
Rhinestone is better than nothing.
So, the Rhinestone is better than diamond.
10.Why don't oysters give to charity?
Because they're shellfish.
11.Fu, Bu, Su and Chu immigrated to the US from China.
They decided to become American Citizens, and
"Americanize" their names.
Bu - called himself "Buck"
Chu called himself "Chuck"
and Fu and Su had to go back to China
12.An Irish daughter had not been home for over 5 years. Upon her return, her father cursed her. Where have ye been all this time? Why did ye not write to us, not even a line? Why didn't ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old mum thru? The girl, crying, replied, "Sniff, sniff....dad....I became a prostitute...." "Ye what!!? Out of here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a disgrace to this family." "OK, dad-- as ye wish. I just came back to give mum this luxurious fur coat, title deed to a ten bedroom mansion plus a savings certificate for $5 million." "For me little brother, this gold Rolex and for ye daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes limited edition convertible that's parked outside plus a membership to the country club....(takes a breath)....and an invitation for ye all to spend New Years' Eve on board my new yacht in the Riviera, and...." Now what was it ye said ye had become?" says dad. Girl, crying again, "Sniff, sniff....a prostitute dad! Sniff, sniff. "Oh! Be Jesus! Ye scared me half to death, girl! I thought ye said a Protestant. Come here and give yer old man a hug
13.Upon dying, Bill Gates went to purgatory.
St. Peter said to him, "Bill, you have done some good things, and you have done some bad things. Now I am going to let you decide where you want to go."
So, Bill takes a look at hell and sees beautiful women running around, in 80 degree temperature, on beautiful beaches.
Then he took a look at heaven and it was nice, you know harps, singing and worship and stuff like that.
So he said to St. Peter that he would like to go to hell.
About a week later, St. Peter went down to hell to check on Bill. There he saw him being whipped by demons. He said to St. Peter, "What happened to all the beautiful women, and the beaches?"
Peter replied, "That was just the screen saver."
14.Husband : Honey, why are you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?
Wife : Because I married the wrong man!
15.A guy went to a party without his wife. He heard another guy say to his wife, "Pass the sugar, Honey." and "Pass the honey, Sugar." He thought this sort of speech is a good idea. The next morning when he and his wife are eating breakfast, he said to his wife, "Pass the bacon, Pig."
16.Police Officer : When I saw you driving down the road, I guessed 55 at least.
Man : You're wrong, officer, it's only my hat that makes me look that old.
17.What is defference between man and Superman?
Man wears underwear under the trouser and superman wears it over the trouser
18. am not a vegetarian because I love animals.
I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.
19.What do you call an intelligent blonde?
A Golden Retriever.
20.guy came into a bar one day and said to the barman "Give me six double vodkas."
The barman says, "Wow! you must have had one hell of a day."
"Yes, I've just found out my older brother is gay."
The next day the same guy came into the bar and asked for the same drinks. When the bartender asked what the problem was today, the answer came back.
"I've just found out that my younger brother is gay too!"
On the third day the guy came into the bar and ordered another six double vodkas.
The bartender said: "Jesus! Doesn't anybody in your family like women?"
"Yeah... My wife!"
1. 딸래미 : 아빠, 깜깜한데서 글 쓸수 있어?
아빠 : 쓸 수 있을 것 같은데? 뭐 써줄까?
딸래미 : 성적표에 이름 좀..
2. 손님 : 저기요, 랍스터 집게발이 하난데..
웨이터 : 싸움하다가 잘렸을 겁니다.
손님 : 그럼 싸움하다 이긴놈으로 가져다주세요.
3. 새색시 : 저녁 먹을래요?
신랑 : 물논, 내게 선택권이 있어?
새색시 : 먹거나 굶거나.
4. 한 남자가 뉴욕에 있는 항공사 사무실에 전화해서 물었다
"보스턴에 가려면 비행시간이 얼마나 되나요?"
점원이 말했다 "잠깐만요(남자는 1분이라고 해석함)"
"고맙습니다" 라고 남자가 말하고 전화를 끊음..
5. 남자가 죽기 직전 마누라에게
"여보.. 내가 죽고 한달후에 드론이랑 결혼하시오.."
"뭣시?? 드론은 당신의 원수자나!! 왜!! 왜..흑흑"
"지금까지 난 당할만큼 당했어.. 이제 그놈 차례야 크흐흐.."
6. 한 남자가 광고로 "아내를 원합니다" 라고 올리자 다음날에 100여통의 편지가 왔다.
그 편지에는 하나같이 "내 마누라를 가지세요" 라고 써 있었다.
7. 병원을 생전 처음 입원하게된 83세 노인이, 베게맡의 장치에 관해 묻자. 벨이라고 알려주었더니, 노인이 몇번 눌러보고 소리가 안나는것에 의아해했다. 그래서 그건 복도에 있는 간호사가 볼수있게 하는 벨이라고 설명하자, 노인이 화를 내면서 "복도 불을 켜고 싶으면 지가 키면 되지 !!"
8. 한 여자가 자기의 이웃 중 하나가 악어로 신발을 만든다고 말해주었다.
남자는 고개를 가로저으며 말했다. "다음엔 악어들한테 뭘 또 가르치려고 저러는지.."
9. 이 세상에 다이아몬드보다 좋은 것은 '아무것도 없다'
'아무것도 없다'라는것 보다는 큐빅이라도 있는게 낫다.
그러므로 큐빅이 다이아몬드보다 낫다.
10. 왜 굴은 자선활동을 안하는가?
왜냐면 그들은 갑각류(Shellfish)이기 때문이야.
(갑각류라는 단어와 이기적임을 뜻하는 Selfish 라는 단어 발음이 비슷한 점에서 착안)
11. Fu, Bu, Su, Chu 라는 중국인들은 미국으로 이민을 갔다.
그들은 미국 시민이 되기 위해 "미국식" 으로 이름을 바꿨는데
Bu 는 Buck 으로, Chu 는 Chuck 으로 이름을 바꿨다.
Fu 와 Su 는 다시 중국으로 돌아올 수 밖에 없었다
(Fu -> Fuck, Su - > Suck)
12. 아일랜드인의 딸이 5년 넘도록 집에 돌아오지 않았다가 마침내 돌아오게 되었다. 아버지는 놀라서 딸에게 물었다 "대체 5년동안 어디 가 있었던거야? 왜 편지 한 줄도 안 써서 보내고 전화 한 통도 안하는거야? 엄아아빠가 얼마나 걱정했는지 몰라?" 딸은 울면서 대답했다 "흑흑.. 아빠 나 창녀(prostitute)가 되었어요""뭐???????? 그게 말이나 되는소리야? 이 죄인!! 부끄러운년!! 넌 우리 가족의 흠이야 불명예다!!!!""네 아빠.. 나 그냥 집에 잠깐 들른거에요, 잠깐 와서 엄마한테 최고급 모피코트와 5백만 달러가 있는 저축통장과 열개의 방이 딸린 방을, 그리고 남동생에게는 금장 롤렉스 시계외 아빠에게는 지금 밖에 주차되어 있는 벤츠 컨버터블 한정판과 골프장 회원권을...(숨 한번 골라 쉬고)...그리고 우리 모두에게 리베라(지명인듯)에 있는 요트에서 새해를 맞이할 수 있는 초대권을 주러 잠깐 왔던거에요."라고 딸이 말했다.
그러자 아버지는 "너 그걸 전부 할 수 있는 돈이 어떻게 생겼단 말이냐?" 라고 물었다.딸은 "바로 내가 창녀가 되었기 때문이에요" 라고 말했다.이에 아버지 대답하길"오 신이시여, 딸아, 너 나 반 죽여놓을 뻔 했다, 아빠는 니가 수도사(Protestant) 가 되었다고 말 한 줄 알았잖니, 이리 와서 아빠 좀 안아주렴"
13. 빌 게이츠가 죽어서 베드로 앞에 갔다.
베드로 : 빌, 넌 좋은 일도 했고 나쁜 일도 했어. 난 니가 천당과 지옥 중 하나를 선택했으면 하네 그래서 빌은, 지옥을 내려다 봤다. 아니, 근데 지옥에는 화씨 80도(26C) 정도 되는 온도에 환상적인 해변에서 엄청나게 예쁜 여자들이 유유히 걷고있는 것 아닌가? 그리고 천국을 보니 천국은 늘 알던 것 처럼 평화로운 노래가 흘러나오는 곳이었다. 그래서 빌은 지옥이 낫다고 생각해, 지옥으로 가는 것을 선택했다. 일주일 뒤, 베드로는 지옥으로 내려갔다. 빌은 악마들에게 둘러싸여있었다.
빌 : 베드로, 그 예쁜 여자들과 해변은 어떻게 된거죠?
베드로가 대답했다 "그거, 화면보호기야"
14. 남편 : 여보, 왜 결혼반지를 다른(틀린) 손가락에 끼고 있어?
아내 : 왜냐면 내가 틀려먹은 남자랑 결혼했으니까!!
15. 한 남자가 와이프 몰래 파티에 갔다. 그는 거기서 다른 남자가 자신의 아내에게 말하는 것을 들었는 데, 그 말은 이러했다. "설탕 좀 줄래?, 허니?" 그리고 "꿀좀 줄래? 슈거?" 그 남자는 저런 방식의 말하기가 아주 괜찮은 아이디어라고 생각했다. 다음날 아침, 그의 아내가 아침을 먹고 있을때 그가 말했다. "베이컨 좀 줄래? 돼지야?"
16. 경찰관 : 내가 당신을 봤을때 55(마일) 이상인 것 처럼 보였습니다.
남자 : 틀렸습니다. 내 모자가 날 그렇게 늙어보이게 하는 거라구요.
경찰관은 속도를 의미, 남자는 자기 나이가 55살 이상으로 이해.
17. '슈퍼맨'과 '맨' 의 다른점은, '맨'은 팬티는 바지 안에 입고 '슈퍼맨'은 밖에 입는다는 것이다.
18. 난 동물을 너무 사랑해서 채식주의자랍니다. (동물은 사랑하니까 먹지 못하고)
난 식물을 너무 싫어해서 채식주의자에요. (식물을 싫어해서 다 먹어버리겠다는 뜻?)
19. 똑똑한 금발을 뭐라고 부르는 줄 알아? "골든 리트리버"
20. 한 남자가 바에 찾아와서 더블 보드카 6잔을 주문했다. 바텐더가 "와, *나 힘든 하루를 보내셨구만요." 라고 말하자 남자는 "네..오늘 내 형이 게이라는것을 알게 되었어요..." 라고 말했다. 다음 날, 그 남자가 또 찾아오더니 똑같은 주문을 하는 것이다. 바텐더는 오늘은 또 어떤 문제가 있었냐고 물었다. 그 남자는 "오늘 내 남동생도 게이라는것을 알게 되었어요....." 라고 말했다. 또 그 다음날, 그 남자가 들어와서 똑같은 것을 주문했다. 바텐더는 "오마이갓, 가족 중에 여자를 좋아하는 사람이 한 사람도 없단 말이에요????" 라고 물었다. 남자가 대답했다. "있어요... 내 마누라(레즈비언이라는 말)"
Dad : I think so. What is it you want me to write?
Daughter : Your name on this report card.
2.Customer : Waiter, this lobster's only got one claw.
Waiter : I expect he's been in a fight, sir.
Customer : Well, then, please bring me the winner!
3.Newly-wed : Do you want dinner?
Spouse : Sure, what are my choices?
Newly-wed : Yes and no.
4.A man telephoned an airline office in New York and asked, "How long does it take to fly to Boston?"
The clerk said, "Just a minute."
"Thank you," the man said and hung up.
5.From his death bed, the husband called his wife and said, "One month after I die I want you to marry Mr. Drone." "Drone! But he is your enemy!" "Yes, I know that! I've suffered all these years so let him suffer now."
6.A man inserted an 'ad' in the classified ads; "Wife wanted." The next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing : "You can have mine."
7.At age 83, Granddad was admitted to the hospital for the first
time. "what is theis ?" he asked as he held up the bell cord they
had fastened to his pillow.
"That 's the bell , Granddad." I replied.
He pulled it several times, then remarked , "I don't hear it ringing."
"Oh, it doesn't ring." I explained. "It turns on a light in the
hall for the nurse."
"Well!" he replied indignantly, "It the nurse wants a light on in
the hall, she can turn it on herself."
8.A woman told her neighbour that they used
alliagators to make shoes. shaking his head, he said,
'What will they teach them to do next?'
8.Why do blondes wear big hoop earrings when they go on a date?
So they have some place to put their feet.
9.Nothing is better than diamond.
Rhinestone is better than nothing.
So, the Rhinestone is better than diamond.
10.Why don't oysters give to charity?
Because they're shellfish.
11.Fu, Bu, Su and Chu immigrated to the US from China.
They decided to become American Citizens, and
"Americanize" their names.
Bu - called himself "Buck"
Chu called himself "Chuck"
and Fu and Su had to go back to China
12.An Irish daughter had not been home for over 5 years. Upon her return, her father cursed her. Where have ye been all this time? Why did ye not write to us, not even a line? Why didn't ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old mum thru? The girl, crying, replied, "Sniff, sniff....dad....I became a prostitute...." "Ye what!!? Out of here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a disgrace to this family." "OK, dad-- as ye wish. I just came back to give mum this luxurious fur coat, title deed to a ten bedroom mansion plus a savings certificate for $5 million." "For me little brother, this gold Rolex and for ye daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes limited edition convertible that's parked outside plus a membership to the country club....(takes a breath)....and an invitation for ye all to spend New Years' Eve on board my new yacht in the Riviera, and...." Now what was it ye said ye had become?" says dad. Girl, crying again, "Sniff, sniff....a prostitute dad! Sniff, sniff. "Oh! Be Jesus! Ye scared me half to death, girl! I thought ye said a Protestant. Come here and give yer old man a hug
13.Upon dying, Bill Gates went to purgatory.
St. Peter said to him, "Bill, you have done some good things, and you have done some bad things. Now I am going to let you decide where you want to go."
So, Bill takes a look at hell and sees beautiful women running around, in 80 degree temperature, on beautiful beaches.
Then he took a look at heaven and it was nice, you know harps, singing and worship and stuff like that.
So he said to St. Peter that he would like to go to hell.
About a week later, St. Peter went down to hell to check on Bill. There he saw him being whipped by demons. He said to St. Peter, "What happened to all the beautiful women, and the beaches?"
Peter replied, "That was just the screen saver."
14.Husband : Honey, why are you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?
Wife : Because I married the wrong man!
15.A guy went to a party without his wife. He heard another guy say to his wife, "Pass the sugar, Honey." and "Pass the honey, Sugar." He thought this sort of speech is a good idea. The next morning when he and his wife are eating breakfast, he said to his wife, "Pass the bacon, Pig."
16.Police Officer : When I saw you driving down the road, I guessed 55 at least.
Man : You're wrong, officer, it's only my hat that makes me look that old.
17.What is defference between man and Superman?
Man wears underwear under the trouser and superman wears it over the trouser
18. am not a vegetarian because I love animals.
I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.
19.What do you call an intelligent blonde?
A Golden Retriever.
20.guy came into a bar one day and said to the barman "Give me six double vodkas."
The barman says, "Wow! you must have had one hell of a day."
"Yes, I've just found out my older brother is gay."
The next day the same guy came into the bar and asked for the same drinks. When the bartender asked what the problem was today, the answer came back.
"I've just found out that my younger brother is gay too!"
On the third day the guy came into the bar and ordered another six double vodkas.
The bartender said: "Jesus! Doesn't anybody in your family like women?"
"Yeah... My wife!"
1. 딸래미 : 아빠, 깜깜한데서 글 쓸수 있어?
아빠 : 쓸 수 있을 것 같은데? 뭐 써줄까?
딸래미 : 성적표에 이름 좀..
2. 손님 : 저기요, 랍스터 집게발이 하난데..
웨이터 : 싸움하다가 잘렸을 겁니다.
손님 : 그럼 싸움하다 이긴놈으로 가져다주세요.
3. 새색시 : 저녁 먹을래요?
신랑 : 물논, 내게 선택권이 있어?
새색시 : 먹거나 굶거나.
4. 한 남자가 뉴욕에 있는 항공사 사무실에 전화해서 물었다
"보스턴에 가려면 비행시간이 얼마나 되나요?"
점원이 말했다 "잠깐만요(남자는 1분이라고 해석함)"
"고맙습니다" 라고 남자가 말하고 전화를 끊음..
5. 남자가 죽기 직전 마누라에게
"여보.. 내가 죽고 한달후에 드론이랑 결혼하시오.."
"뭣시?? 드론은 당신의 원수자나!! 왜!! 왜..흑흑"
"지금까지 난 당할만큼 당했어.. 이제 그놈 차례야 크흐흐.."
6. 한 남자가 광고로 "아내를 원합니다" 라고 올리자 다음날에 100여통의 편지가 왔다.
그 편지에는 하나같이 "내 마누라를 가지세요" 라고 써 있었다.
7. 병원을 생전 처음 입원하게된 83세 노인이, 베게맡의 장치에 관해 묻자. 벨이라고 알려주었더니, 노인이 몇번 눌러보고 소리가 안나는것에 의아해했다. 그래서 그건 복도에 있는 간호사가 볼수있게 하는 벨이라고 설명하자, 노인이 화를 내면서 "복도 불을 켜고 싶으면 지가 키면 되지 !!"
8. 한 여자가 자기의 이웃 중 하나가 악어로 신발을 만든다고 말해주었다.
남자는 고개를 가로저으며 말했다. "다음엔 악어들한테 뭘 또 가르치려고 저러는지.."
9. 이 세상에 다이아몬드보다 좋은 것은 '아무것도 없다'
'아무것도 없다'라는것 보다는 큐빅이라도 있는게 낫다.
그러므로 큐빅이 다이아몬드보다 낫다.
10. 왜 굴은 자선활동을 안하는가?
왜냐면 그들은 갑각류(Shellfish)이기 때문이야.
(갑각류라는 단어와 이기적임을 뜻하는 Selfish 라는 단어 발음이 비슷한 점에서 착안)
11. Fu, Bu, Su, Chu 라는 중국인들은 미국으로 이민을 갔다.
그들은 미국 시민이 되기 위해 "미국식" 으로 이름을 바꿨는데
Bu 는 Buck 으로, Chu 는 Chuck 으로 이름을 바꿨다.
Fu 와 Su 는 다시 중국으로 돌아올 수 밖에 없었다
(Fu -> Fuck, Su - > Suck)
12. 아일랜드인의 딸이 5년 넘도록 집에 돌아오지 않았다가 마침내 돌아오게 되었다. 아버지는 놀라서 딸에게 물었다 "대체 5년동안 어디 가 있었던거야? 왜 편지 한 줄도 안 써서 보내고 전화 한 통도 안하는거야? 엄아아빠가 얼마나 걱정했는지 몰라?" 딸은 울면서 대답했다 "흑흑.. 아빠 나 창녀(prostitute)가 되었어요""뭐???????? 그게 말이나 되는소리야? 이 죄인!! 부끄러운년!! 넌 우리 가족의 흠이야 불명예다!!!!""네 아빠.. 나 그냥 집에 잠깐 들른거에요, 잠깐 와서 엄마한테 최고급 모피코트와 5백만 달러가 있는 저축통장과 열개의 방이 딸린 방을, 그리고 남동생에게는 금장 롤렉스 시계외 아빠에게는 지금 밖에 주차되어 있는 벤츠 컨버터블 한정판과 골프장 회원권을...(숨 한번 골라 쉬고)...그리고 우리 모두에게 리베라(지명인듯)에 있는 요트에서 새해를 맞이할 수 있는 초대권을 주러 잠깐 왔던거에요."라고 딸이 말했다.
그러자 아버지는 "너 그걸 전부 할 수 있는 돈이 어떻게 생겼단 말이냐?" 라고 물었다.딸은 "바로 내가 창녀가 되었기 때문이에요" 라고 말했다.이에 아버지 대답하길"오 신이시여, 딸아, 너 나 반 죽여놓을 뻔 했다, 아빠는 니가 수도사(Protestant) 가 되었다고 말 한 줄 알았잖니, 이리 와서 아빠 좀 안아주렴"
13. 빌 게이츠가 죽어서 베드로 앞에 갔다.
베드로 : 빌, 넌 좋은 일도 했고 나쁜 일도 했어. 난 니가 천당과 지옥 중 하나를 선택했으면 하네 그래서 빌은, 지옥을 내려다 봤다. 아니, 근데 지옥에는 화씨 80도(26C) 정도 되는 온도에 환상적인 해변에서 엄청나게 예쁜 여자들이 유유히 걷고있는 것 아닌가? 그리고 천국을 보니 천국은 늘 알던 것 처럼 평화로운 노래가 흘러나오는 곳이었다. 그래서 빌은 지옥이 낫다고 생각해, 지옥으로 가는 것을 선택했다. 일주일 뒤, 베드로는 지옥으로 내려갔다. 빌은 악마들에게 둘러싸여있었다.
빌 : 베드로, 그 예쁜 여자들과 해변은 어떻게 된거죠?
베드로가 대답했다 "그거, 화면보호기야"
14. 남편 : 여보, 왜 결혼반지를 다른(틀린) 손가락에 끼고 있어?
아내 : 왜냐면 내가 틀려먹은 남자랑 결혼했으니까!!
15. 한 남자가 와이프 몰래 파티에 갔다. 그는 거기서 다른 남자가 자신의 아내에게 말하는 것을 들었는 데, 그 말은 이러했다. "설탕 좀 줄래?, 허니?" 그리고 "꿀좀 줄래? 슈거?" 그 남자는 저런 방식의 말하기가 아주 괜찮은 아이디어라고 생각했다. 다음날 아침, 그의 아내가 아침을 먹고 있을때 그가 말했다. "베이컨 좀 줄래? 돼지야?"
16. 경찰관 : 내가 당신을 봤을때 55(마일) 이상인 것 처럼 보였습니다.
남자 : 틀렸습니다. 내 모자가 날 그렇게 늙어보이게 하는 거라구요.
경찰관은 속도를 의미, 남자는 자기 나이가 55살 이상으로 이해.
17. '슈퍼맨'과 '맨' 의 다른점은, '맨'은 팬티는 바지 안에 입고 '슈퍼맨'은 밖에 입는다는 것이다.
18. 난 동물을 너무 사랑해서 채식주의자랍니다. (동물은 사랑하니까 먹지 못하고)
난 식물을 너무 싫어해서 채식주의자에요. (식물을 싫어해서 다 먹어버리겠다는 뜻?)
19. 똑똑한 금발을 뭐라고 부르는 줄 알아? "골든 리트리버"
20. 한 남자가 바에 찾아와서 더블 보드카 6잔을 주문했다. 바텐더가 "와, *나 힘든 하루를 보내셨구만요." 라고 말하자 남자는 "네..오늘 내 형이 게이라는것을 알게 되었어요..." 라고 말했다. 다음 날, 그 남자가 또 찾아오더니 똑같은 주문을 하는 것이다. 바텐더는 오늘은 또 어떤 문제가 있었냐고 물었다. 그 남자는 "오늘 내 남동생도 게이라는것을 알게 되었어요....." 라고 말했다. 또 그 다음날, 그 남자가 들어와서 똑같은 것을 주문했다. 바텐더는 "오마이갓, 가족 중에 여자를 좋아하는 사람이 한 사람도 없단 말이에요????" 라고 물었다. 남자가 대답했다. "있어요... 내 마누라(레즈비언이라는 말)"
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Monday, May 24, 2010
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Friday, May 21, 2010
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Google TV
Announcing Google TV: TV meets web. Web meets TV.
If there’s one entertainment device that people know and love, it’s the television. In fact, 4 billion people across the world watch TV and the average American spends five hours per day in front of one*. Recently, however, an increasing amount of our entertainment experience is coming from our phones and computers. One reason is that these devices have something that the TV lacks: the web. With the web, finding and accessing interesting content is fast and often as easy as a search. But the web still lacks many of the great features and the high-quality viewing experience that the TV offers.
So that got us thinking...what if we helped people experience the best of TV and the best of the web in one seamless experience? Imagine turning on the TV and getting all the channels and shows you normally watch and all of the websites you browse all day — including your favorite video, music and photo sites. We’re excited to announce that we’ve done just that.
Google TV is a new experience for television that combines the TV that you already know with the freedom and power of the Internet. With Google Chrome built in, you can access all of your favorite websites and easily move between television and the web. This opens up your TV from a few hundred channels to millions of channels of entertainment across TV and the web. Your television is also no longer confined to showing just video. With the entire Internet in your living room, your TV becomes more than a TV — it can be a photo slideshow viewer, a gaming console, a music player and much more.
Google TV uses search to give you an easy and fast way to navigate to television channels, websites, apps, shows and movies. For example, already know the channel or program you want to watch? Just type in the name and you’re there. Want to check out that funny YouTube video on your 48” flat screen? It’s just a quick search away. If you know what you want to watch, but you’re not sure where to find it, just type in what you’re looking for and Google TV will help you find it on the web or on one of your many TV channels. If you’d rather browse than search, you can use your standard program guide, your DVR or the Google TV home screen, which provides quick access to all of your favorite entertainment so you’re always within reach of the content you love most.
Because Google TV is built on open platforms like Android and Google Chrome, these features are just a fraction of what Google TV can do. In our announcement today at Google I/O, we challenged web developers to start coming up with the next great web and Android apps designed specifically for the TV experience. Developers can start optimizing their websites for Google TV today. Soon after launch, we’ll release the Google TV SDK and web APIs for TV so that developers can build even richer applications and distribute them through Android Market. We’re looking forward to seeing all of the ways developers will use this new platform.
We’re working together with Sony and Logitech to put Google TV inside of televisions, Blu-ray players and companion boxes. These devices will go on sale this fall, and will be available at Best Buy stores nationwide. You can sign up here to get updates on Google TV availability.
This is an incredibly exciting time — for TV watchers, for developers and for the entire TV ecosystem. By giving people the power to experience what they love on TV and on the web on a single screen, Google TV turns the living room into a new platform for innovation. We're excited about what’s coming. We hope you are too.
via http://googleblog.blogspot.com/
If there’s one entertainment device that people know and love, it’s the television. In fact, 4 billion people across the world watch TV and the average American spends five hours per day in front of one*. Recently, however, an increasing amount of our entertainment experience is coming from our phones and computers. One reason is that these devices have something that the TV lacks: the web. With the web, finding and accessing interesting content is fast and often as easy as a search. But the web still lacks many of the great features and the high-quality viewing experience that the TV offers.
So that got us thinking...what if we helped people experience the best of TV and the best of the web in one seamless experience? Imagine turning on the TV and getting all the channels and shows you normally watch and all of the websites you browse all day — including your favorite video, music and photo sites. We’re excited to announce that we’ve done just that.
Google TV is a new experience for television that combines the TV that you already know with the freedom and power of the Internet. With Google Chrome built in, you can access all of your favorite websites and easily move between television and the web. This opens up your TV from a few hundred channels to millions of channels of entertainment across TV and the web. Your television is also no longer confined to showing just video. With the entire Internet in your living room, your TV becomes more than a TV — it can be a photo slideshow viewer, a gaming console, a music player and much more.
Google TV uses search to give you an easy and fast way to navigate to television channels, websites, apps, shows and movies. For example, already know the channel or program you want to watch? Just type in the name and you’re there. Want to check out that funny YouTube video on your 48” flat screen? It’s just a quick search away. If you know what you want to watch, but you’re not sure where to find it, just type in what you’re looking for and Google TV will help you find it on the web or on one of your many TV channels. If you’d rather browse than search, you can use your standard program guide, your DVR or the Google TV home screen, which provides quick access to all of your favorite entertainment so you’re always within reach of the content you love most.
Because Google TV is built on open platforms like Android and Google Chrome, these features are just a fraction of what Google TV can do. In our announcement today at Google I/O, we challenged web developers to start coming up with the next great web and Android apps designed specifically for the TV experience. Developers can start optimizing their websites for Google TV today. Soon after launch, we’ll release the Google TV SDK and web APIs for TV so that developers can build even richer applications and distribute them through Android Market. We’re looking forward to seeing all of the ways developers will use this new platform.
We’re working together with Sony and Logitech to put Google TV inside of televisions, Blu-ray players and companion boxes. These devices will go on sale this fall, and will be available at Best Buy stores nationwide. You can sign up here to get updates on Google TV availability.
This is an incredibly exciting time — for TV watchers, for developers and for the entire TV ecosystem. By giving people the power to experience what they love on TV and on the web on a single screen, Google TV turns the living room into a new platform for innovation. We're excited about what’s coming. We hope you are too.
via http://googleblog.blogspot.com/
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Monday, May 17, 2010
iPhone 4: June launch, high-res screen, iBookstore - Digitimes
Apple’s making major orders now for the next-gen iPhone, reports from the company’s suppliers in China and Taiwan suggest.
Manufacturer, Foxconn, seems set to ship 24 million units of the device at least this year, with shipments starting in June, reports Digitimes senior analyst, Ming-Chi Kuo, citing component makers in Taiwan.
Foxconn seems on target to ship 4.5 million units in the first half and 19.5 million units for the rest of 2010, the report states.
Forgive a moment’s speculation here, but the relative difference between these two figures could suggest a staggered roll-out of the product as Apple delivers it to key territories as manufacturing ramps-up to meet demand. The same deal as the iPad. Perhaps.
The Digitimes report lends a little more weight to the idea that Apple will announce the new iPhone on June 7 at WWDC, and adds a little more technical data beyond that revealed in the Gawker report.
The new device will adopt IPS (in-plane switching) panels with FFS (fringe-field switching) technology and a 960-x-640 resolution,” Kuo said, noting that LG DIsplay and Prime View International are the panel suppliers,” Digitimes tells us.
That report says it will be including FFS because it will “improve the handset's e-book reader features”. This confirms Apple's previous promist it will bring the iBookstore to the iPhone in June.
The iPhone 4G will run on the Arm Cortex A8 processor and a 512MB memory module from Samsung Electronics, doubling the memory capacity of the previous generation to enable better multi-tasking. The panel is one third thinner to reduce battery drain.
Batteries will come from Simplo Technology and Dynapack International Technology, Kuo said.
via http://9to5mac.com/
Early Screenshots Show Chrome OS with a Cover Flow Style
They're design ideas that could change, from early builds of an OS that's not released. But peeking around the early design ideas for Chrome OS reveals what kind of netbook experience Google's shooting for when it eventually comes out.
There's a big notice under the Chrome OS Features section of the open source Chrome's user experience documents: "UI under development. Designs are subject to change." There is, however, an assumption that with Chrome due to arrive sometime around November, there won't be a complete change of direction. The notable and somewhat new images show a window management scheme influenced by Apple's Cover Flow scheme for iTunes and Finder, along with some early looks at how files and removable media will be managed.
Click on to check out the full set of pictures, and tell us what you think of Chrome OS' early looks in the comments. For more details on what Chrome OS is and how to run it, try our previous coverage of Chrome OS' release and the human's guide to running Google Chrome OS.
User Experience—The Chromium Projects) [via TechCrunch]
Send an email to Kevin Purdy, the author of this post, at kevin@lifehacker.com.
Sunday, May 16, 2010
working on beautiful Sunday... :(
grrr, I am working on perfect sunshine Sunday...
but I kinda like to come to work on weekends or at night time.
Nothing bothers or distract me and it is very quite.
I can more easily focus on my work.
It would be nice if I got paid overtime. :(
Okay~! Let's do the work!!! :D
but I kinda like to come to work on weekends or at night time.
Nothing bothers or distract me and it is very quite.
I can more easily focus on my work.
It would be nice if I got paid overtime. :(
Okay~! Let's do the work!!! :D
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Friday, May 14, 2010
싸다귀 게임 - Game
http://nigoro.jp/game/rosecamellia/rosecamellia.php
플레이하면서 발로 터득한 게임방법
1.기본적으로 턴제방식입니다.
2.위쪽에 바가 하나있는데요. 파란색이 좌측으로 차는 건 공격타임입니다. 그 사이에 싸다구를 막 갈겨줘야 합니다.
3.위쪽 바가 빨간색으로 우측으로 차는건 방어타임입니다. 잘 막으면서 카운터도 넣어주세요.
4.공격방식은 우측아래의 어택버튼을 누릅니다. 그리고 마우스를 위쪽으로 한번 쓱 훑어주세요. 드래그가 아닙니다. 그냥 슥~ 훑어주기만해도 됩니다.
5.방어방식은 좌측아래의 회피버튼을 누릅니다. 그리고 마우스로 아래쪽방향으로 슥 훑어주세요. 잘 훑어므녀 우측아래에 카운터공격버튼이 뜨는데 마우스로 위쪽을 훑으면 방어타임인데도 카운터어택을 날릴 수 있습니다.
6.위쪽 바를 보시면서 방어와 공격에 신경을 써주시는게 관건입니다.
7.세게 휘두를수록 공격과 방어의 위력이 달라지므로 동작을 크게 움직이세요.
8.눈에는 보이지 않지만 공격시 싸다구궤적을 벗어날경우 반격을 당할확률이 높네요. 신속정확하게 싸다구를 날려줘야하네요 -_-. 그리고 방어시에도 카운터어택을 날려줘야 공격맞을 확률도 줄어들어요.
아놔.. 너무 어려움. 두번째도 못 깨겠음.. -_-;;
플레이하면서 발로 터득한 게임방법
1.기본적으로 턴제방식입니다.
2.위쪽에 바가 하나있는데요. 파란색이 좌측으로 차는 건 공격타임입니다. 그 사이에 싸다구를 막 갈겨줘야 합니다.
3.위쪽 바가 빨간색으로 우측으로 차는건 방어타임입니다. 잘 막으면서 카운터도 넣어주세요.
4.공격방식은 우측아래의 어택버튼을 누릅니다. 그리고 마우스를 위쪽으로 한번 쓱 훑어주세요. 드래그가 아닙니다. 그냥 슥~ 훑어주기만해도 됩니다.
5.방어방식은 좌측아래의 회피버튼을 누릅니다. 그리고 마우스로 아래쪽방향으로 슥 훑어주세요. 잘 훑어므녀 우측아래에 카운터공격버튼이 뜨는데 마우스로 위쪽을 훑으면 방어타임인데도 카운터어택을 날릴 수 있습니다.
6.위쪽 바를 보시면서 방어와 공격에 신경을 써주시는게 관건입니다.
7.세게 휘두를수록 공격과 방어의 위력이 달라지므로 동작을 크게 움직이세요.
8.눈에는 보이지 않지만 공격시 싸다구궤적을 벗어날경우 반격을 당할확률이 높네요. 신속정확하게 싸다구를 날려줘야하네요 -_-. 그리고 방어시에도 카운터어택을 날려줘야 공격맞을 확률도 줄어들어요.
아놔.. 너무 어려움. 두번째도 못 깨겠음.. -_-;;
Apple Responds To Adobe’s Ad
Heard about Adobe’s “We Love Apple” ad campaign? Well this is Apples response (not really, but God I’d love it if they did):
via http://tnw.to/169dR
WiFi Sync finally hits iPhone...on Cydia
It looks like the WiFi Sync app by Greg Hughes, which had previously been submitted to the App Store, has made it's way to Cydia. The app connects over a wifi network to a computer running the client app, and syncs your phone as if it were connected via USB, and is available on the BigBoss repo for $9.99.
While not officially supported, it does work on the iPad.
Currently the client app is mac only, but a version of the software compatible with Windows will be available shortly.
via modmyi.com
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Some meaningful ad from Adobe to Apple
This is one whole page from WSJ.
Adobe is saying "DO NOT TAKE AWAY THE FREEDOM OF USER'S CHOICE" to Apple.
Obviously, Adobe don't love Apple. LOL
Freedom of Choice, Thought of Adobe: http://www.adobe.com/choice/
2010 Spring Semester is over!!!
2010 Spring Semester is over now!!!
It's been a while I attending school after my first degree, May 2006.
It was quite tough and challenging working full time and being full time student at the same time. But I think I should do better than what I did this semester.
Well, anyway semester is over now!!! yay~~!
Let's recharge and refresh until next semester begins! :)
It's been a while I attending school after my first degree, May 2006.
It was quite tough and challenging working full time and being full time student at the same time. But I think I should do better than what I did this semester.
Well, anyway semester is over now!!! yay~~!
Let's recharge and refresh until next semester begins! :)
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
WHAT’S THE BEST BLOG HOSTING SITE?
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